Hurricane Prep!!!

 November 9, 2022

102 days

A storm is brewing!!! HURRICANE PARTY!!! 

Well, not here, at least! Okay, so I used to love the idea of getting off from work and doing hurricane prep, to simply be satisfied with the notion that I could drink at home in isolation for the next few days. Trust me, it was no hurricane party, but the idea of doing anything else, just seemed displeasing.  I had no clue how much I had engrained this into myself.  It had become a routine. A vicious cycle, once again. 

Yesterday afternoon, I was so relieved to be able to get off work and do hurricane prep.  What I didn't realize is how strong the urge to drink would soon follow. I mean it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday afternoon. I got the house all secure, and then the idea of sitting at home, ALONE, for the next few days became a true reality.  What the hell was I going to do?  

Unfortunately, the thought of hurricanes, unnerves my daughter.  She has every right to be fearful.  There were so many hurricanes here at our home, that I probably could have cared less about our safety in truth.  (I mean I went through the steps of preparation, but after that it was DRINK ON!) She has expressed to me the feelings of fright she endured during these times.  I don't think that she felt that I was dependable.  I mean, God knows, she is old enough to know the difference.  

My husband is a firefighter, so there are so many storms that we ride out, without him here.  The only person she had to turn to was ME during these times. Regrettably, I let her down way too much. The frustration she felt, watching her mom become an imbecile, had become overwhelming.  I remember one of the last storms that we had here in Florida, when I was still drinking, she didn't even want to stay with me.  I mean come on Scarlett...get it together!!!  If that wasn't a strong enough message, I don't know what else is? 

If I learned one lesson from this experience, it is preparation is key in sobriety.  I found myself a little unprepared for the daunting task of experiencing a hurricane without alcohol.  Yes, I say daunting.  This hasn't been easy, nor will it be for some time to come. But, I did armor myself with "things to do" while I am sitting here listening to the storm brew outside.  Chores, reading, catching up on some TV, some health care...these are all on my to-do list now. Each day, and each scenario that I am able to conquer SOBER, I feel makes me stronger and better equipped for future situations. 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turning Point

Image
May 5, 2023  280 days of sobriety! (9 months and 6 days) I recently celebrated 9 months of sobriety. Last year, this time, I had no clue that my life would be forever transformed in the upcoming months. I was looking for all the answers to the pain and misery I was experiencing, but unfortunately, the more I looked, the further down the bottle I fell. In so many forums and discussion boards that I partake, many people will ask, “What was your turning point?” My turning point was when I could no longer look at myself in the mirror because the guilt, shame, and remorse were unbearable. Drinking had become the epicenter of my world.  Unfortunately, in May of last year, although I had not hit my rock bottom, I was in the process of digging a hole that would take almost a miracle to get out of. At this time, I was preparing for my final reconstructive breast cancer surgery. I had the perfect opportunity to dwell in self-pity and therefore choose to consume excessive amounts of alco...
Read more

My hubby!

Image
  January 12, 2023 166 days I didn't know what "true love" was, until I went through an extreme transformation of the soul.  Prior to sobriety, I was so self-consumed and selfish, that my heart just didn't beat for much, other than my daughter or alcohol. Prior to sobriety, I cared, I had emotions, I worried, but understanding love at a deeper level, just became so surreal when I stopped drinking. "True love" has many facets, and I strongly feel we love at a multitude of levels, in a variety of ways, for many different people.  Today, I wanted to focus on the love I have for my husband, and how my relationship has been transformed by giving up alcohol.  James just celebrated his 45th birthday!  He deserves some attention! He has truly stood by me in the darkest of times, and it takes a virtual saint to withstand the mental (and sometimes physical) abuse that an alcoholic or addict can project.  I was reunited with James in 2012, many years after we attended...
Read more

O Christmas Tree!

Image
 November 11, 2022 104 days Yesterday evening was another huge accomplishment for me.  The task...shopping for a new Christmas tree! Sometimes, the simplest things, an alcoholic will turn into something formidable. My challenge was to actually enjoy doing something with my family, without thinking about alcohol the entire time.  I accomplished that!!! I also had fun and felt very loved.  Our evening began going to Lowe's to look at artificial trees.  We have always bought real Christmas trees in the past, but to be honest, I am tired of the mess and hassle a real tree brings.  Real trees also don't smell like I always dreamed they would.  At this point, I can buy a candle to capture that ambiance! LOL! James and I argued like we normally do about price and styles, etc. We are not perfect by any means, but I love that man whole-heartedly. We left Lowe's without any luck!  Our next stop was Home Depot! We walked in, and I felt like I was in the scen...
Read more