Scarlett Chesser

October 29, 2022 91 days  Yesterday, I celebrated my 90th day of sobriety!  This is quite an accomplishment for most people in recovery.  We truly are healing emotionally and physically from what we have tortured our bodies with in the past.  After 3 months, you physically begin to see the noticeable difference between a drunken hostage of the disease to a liberated human being.  Emotionally, this has been one of the hardest times, in comparison to my other bouts of sobriety.  I attribute that to how unmanageable my life had become, therefore digging my way out, took a lot more work.  From day 0, I was desperate to get sober this time.  My disease was impacting many aspects of my life.  Actually, it was impacting ALL aspects of my life. That is easier to admit NOW. I literally had lost who I was, and wasn't even sure where to find her.   Physically, my body had become bloated and very overweight.  I am still recovering from my ...

  October 23, 2022 Day 85 Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend time with my baby girl in Gainesville! Weekends like this are essential, because I am desperately trying to reconnect with my family, especially Reina.  Alcoholism weakens your ability to maintain relationships.  Why?  Simply put...alcoholism is a selfish disease that consumes our ability to rationalize important things in life.  Despite how awful alcoholism is, people's ability to see a strength in me, is what keeps me sober.   Our trip to Gainesville was to go to the UF Swine Field Day.  At first I hesitated about making the drive, but I am finding that anytime I can spend with Reina, I really need to take advantage of.  She was excited and brought a wonderful friend to join us.  She is now 17...talks of college and universities are at the forefront.  This was perfect timing for us to go visit the University of Florida campus, and start talking grades, t...

  October 19, 2022 Day 81 As time goes on, our lives become filled with a greater peace then ever before prior to sobriety.   My true focus up to this point has been faith, family, and friends.  These were my foundations from Day 1, and I still make these my top priority each and every day. Through these 3 things, I have now accomplished 81 days of SOBRIETY! Wh en we first get sober, you count hours, literally, that you are able to withhold from your addiction.  As this gets easier, we learn to implement strategies that can help us maintain our sobriety. We also learn that our lives were unmanageable with the substance of choice, and the thought of drinking (in my case) begins to subside over time. I questioned, "Do I really want to go back to that old life?"  Without faith, I would not even be at Day 81, as I am today. Ever since I had my "awakening" in sobriety, God was who I turned to in my time of desperation, and continues to be who I turn to each an...

  October 15, 2022 Day 77 Yesterday was a day that was very surreal to me.  It was my last day working for Brevard Public Schools as a contract employee.  I felt a mix of emotions, and at the same time it was a great day to realize I am still so full of "triggers."  Sobriety = Reality.  Yesterday was REALITY. I remember a good friend saying about sobriety, "The good thing is that you get your feelings back...the bad thing is that you get your feelings back." I have often thought about that phrase because she was so right, my feelings have returned in a plethora of ways.  Sometimes, I am not even sure which direction they are coming from!  I was extremely exhausted due to lack of sleep Thursday night.  As I have mentioned previously, lack of sleep is a huge trigger for me. Friday morning began around 2:30am, I worked on finalizing report cards. Life of a teacher?  I don't think some people realize the extent of hours that are put into this "ca...

 October 11, 2022 73 days!  I mentioned in yesterday's blog, that I had identified some things that I knew caused me anxiety when facing the work week.  If you don't already know, I am a teacher!  I have always loved my job, loved working with students, and I love the county that I work in.  After being diagnosed with breast cancer last year though, my feelings toward work greatly changed. The passion that I once felt about being in the classroom, had diminished.   When I was new in sobriety, I had initially hoped the anxiety I had been feeling the past year or two about work, would fade once I had quit drinking. Unfortunately though, I quickly realized that the same anxiety I had about work, before I quit drinking, returned. I discussed this with my family intensely prior to returning to work in September.  Although, I truly did not know what my game plan would be, I knew that I needed to be home MORE, and my family needed me MORE! I had been unk...

  October 10, 2022 72 days Monday mornings.  Oh boy!  This a topic that I haven't wanted to address!  The reality is, preceding my sobriety, a Monday morning meant HELL for me.  I was unhappy with so many things, beginning with myself, it was just a reminder of all the things I didn't accomplish the week before.  It was also a reminder of all the things I still had left to do.   Prior to that "typical" Monday morning, my Sundays were usually spent trying to "Sunday Fun-day" somewhere! This could encompass a multitude of things, but at the end of the day it resulted in me drinking.  Drinking led to feeling like a complete disaster, and hence the next day...a Monday, off to a horrible start.  Sunday Depression is very common.  Many people deal with anxiety related to the work week ahead, or even if you don't work, just the unknown of what's to come in the week ahead. This anxiety could be for a multitude of factors, but either way, we...

  October 9, 2022 71 days One of the things I find that I truly enjoy in my newfound sobriety is getting out of the house, and just enjoying the weather, my family, some good food, sometimes some good entertainment, and just being happy! I also know that I am bound to find triggers along the way, so rather than living a life in seclusion, I am slowly embracing this new life, very aware of my triggers, and implementing my "toolbox" of strategies as urges arise.  Yesterday evening, we decided to go to Fort Pierce to meet up with Brad and Devan and adorable Hallie!  They also had some friends down there too, but it was truly a beautiful evening!  Did I have triggers? YES!  But, I am finding that communicating those triggers with my loved ones, has been so helpful.  We use the HALT (Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?) strategy a lot!  I find that one of my largest triggers is HUNGER.  Once I eat, my urge to drink is quickly diminished.   I don't ...

October 8, 2022 70 DAYS   I am "blogging" as a way to document my journey through sobriety!  I am excited about this opportunity, but more importantly I am excited to have something that I can reflect upon to see my continued personal growth.   Sobriety is, no doubt, about self-reflection.  I have decided to wake-up each day, and with God's guidance, CHOOSE sobriety!  I choose sobriety because I know it has, will, and continue to bring me a life full of peace within.  Today, is day 70!  70 days into sobriety!!!  These small milestones are always a reason to reflect and think about the personal accomplishments that I have achieved so far on my sobriety journey.  I am realizing this is becoming way bigger than just STAYING sober each day, but it's about LIVING a healthier life physically, emotionally, and mentally each and every day.  I am building stronger relationships with myself, family, and others.  All of this takes time. I...